We all fear alot of things that are more imagined then anything in our minds. Most fear is an illusion an not real. We fear things that we don’t need to really be afraid of. We blowup fear alot in our minds. We let fear control us from the morning we wake up to the time we go to sleep an then ask ourselves the same question everyday why are we fearing this so much! What it is there to really fear about this?
There are such things as healthy fears that are needed to protect us. If were walking in a bad neighborhood we should feel some fear an be aware of our surroundings so we don’t get robbed or hurt. If there is a fire in a house we should be afraid. That fear is necessary for our survival so we can get out of the house alive. These are healthy fears. A child should feel fear if there being abused by a parent or bullied at school. These are healthy an normal fears.
Then we have these fears that we may of got first when we we’re growing up because some bad things happened to us. We may of been abused in many ways an it’s normal to relive that fear of being abused again. That is a normal reaction to being traumatized. People come back from wars overseas an it’s completely normal if they may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for awhile an many years. Sooner or later most of have get past the pain of these traumas an not let what happened in our past haunt us for the rest of our life. Some are very mentally ill an lower functioning an not capable of doing that an that is not their fault. For us higher functioning peoole we have choices today an ways to cope in a healthy way.
Some of us may of never been taught healthy coping skills an may of only known the only way they know how to cope. Alot of the time sadly that turns out to be alcohol an drugs. The addicts an alcoholics didn’t know what they needed to know soon enough to help them. Alot of these people die from addiction an it’s not their fault if they weren’t taught any other way or knew of any other way. It’s a real tragedy an I feel much empathy for them.
For many of us we we’re taught spirituality, religion an other ways to cope. Here we have choices an decision. We can choose to let fear control us or not. The choice is ultimately ours here. We can run from our fears for the rest of our life or we can turn to our spiritual toolkit of tools an other coping skills we been taught. We be very miserable for the rest of our life if we keep running from our fears an we live a life full of regrets an then asking the question Why me. That leads to the self-pity an self-loathing trap. It’s our choice to use the tools given to us or not. If we don’t use the tools we can’t blame anybody else for it either!
The greatest fear people have is the fear of rejection. We all want to be accepted an loved. That is completely normal as a human being to want to be loved an accepted if we didn’t feel enough of that growing up We also have this belief that many of our feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt, disappointment, anxiety an depression has some power to kill us. We think rejection could kill us because we may of experienced it many times in our lifetime. None of these feelings have any power to hurt us unless we give power to them. If you been rejected many times an your still alive today then rejection hasn’t killed you yet an won’t. We fear intimacy with other because some people may of hurt us very bad in the past so we shutdown emotionally an we’re afraid to try again. We may of been hurt many times in our past so we think it’s always going to happen an be that way. That’s our past an not today an there are no facts to back up that because of what happened in our past it’s going to keep happening. It may happen again, but won’t always happen tho. It’s a risk thay always be there in any relationship.
The best way I found to deal with these fears an feeling is to realize that none of it based on any actual facts today. There is no need to danger to our feelings. Feelings are like visitors they come an go and don’t last forever. They are temporary visitors. What we feel now is always replaced with another feeling an then another feeling. The best way to deal with these feelings an fears is not to judge them as good or bad or right or wrong. I have learned that I have to accept them an not attach judgments to them. Feel the fear an then work towards going at the fear an moving towards it. I know that is scary an not easy, but the only way to get thru the fear is by facing it. Spirituality an a relationship with a higher power helps alot there. Your relationship with God, Jesus, Buddha or whoever you want to call your Higher Power is the most important relationship most of us can have. I accept the fact some people don’t believe in a higher. What may work for me may not work for them an that’s Ok. We are not all the same people. God made everyone of us special in his own. I hope everybody can work thru the fears that may haunt them an move past them. I wish the best for people there because I want to see us all succeed an not let fear ruin our days today!
All the resources to get thru our fears are within us. We have that inner strength an together we can get thru our fears. I have faith in you that you can do it. ✌✌😇😇
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My Bipolar Friend’s movie MANIC she stars in and helped produce with Joyful Rebellion Films is coming up very soon. It’s going to be one hell of a mood swing. Hang on tight an buckle up for the rollercoaster ride of your life. You think your moody! You haven’t seen nothing yet. Welcome to our Bipolar World! What’s ever normal when your Bipolar? Nothing ever stays normal with our moods long with the majority of us. It all depends on what you define as normal. What’s normal to someone else may be a bit abnormal to another person. Some people just have moods that are more extreme then others. With Bipolar that is how some of us are built an wired emotionally an mentally. It is what it is!
MANIC is a true story of an inspiring young woman’s journey thru Bipolar Disorder and her will an inner strength to find away to rise above it. It took her alot of courage to do this which isn’t easy. She’s a positive example for many an has come along way. I look forward to seeing this move myself being Bipolar. You have to see the movie to find out more. She put alot of effort an work into this so I am sure it’s going to be a very good movie! I recommend it to all people who struggle with mental health problems. Please don’t give up an hang in there. I believe in you an know you can tap into all the inner strength inside of you an rise above this. People with Mental Illness are some tough cookies to survive this year after year. We can get thru this together.
Self-control has never been one of my strong suits since childhood. I can admit that it is a weakness an shortcoming of mine at times. It is something I am working to improve on. I don’t expect to be perfect at it either. I have been taught healthy coping skills now an I am applying them. I have no excuses today!
Self-Control Issues often involve certain personality traits. Some of us may have had a very low frustration tolerance growing up an knew no other ways to cope. When things don’t go our way way or happen fast enough we get very upset an bottle up all this frustration that accumulates an builds up inside of us an then we finally lose control over emotions an over ourselves. That usually involves a lack of patience an acceptance. If we’re not having patience or acceptance were probably living in the past or the future.
Instant Gratification Behaviors are example of poor self-control. It’s when we try to control people, places an things outside of our control is when we get more stressed, anxious an depressed. We resort to alcohol an drugs thinking we can control our emotions by doing that. It’s the great illusion that the alcoholic an addict believes that drugs an alcohol give them a feeling of being in control. It makes us spiral out of control mote then anything else.
Then the other problem is we want to try to control everything that is outside of our control. If only people, places an things would go exactly the way we want them then we have more self-control because everything around us we would be able control to control. The truth is the more we try to control people, places an things outside of our control the worse self-control we have as a result. We put alot of extra pressure on ourselves doing that.
In summary if you want improved self-control, stop trying to control people, paces an things outside your control. If you believe in a higher power such as God pray to him an let him handle all your problems!
I started to get very sick an tired of my constant inner pain an it was a real strain on me as it became an emotional drain.
I just got stuck like Chuck an for the longest time felt completely bopeless an defeated and didn’t give a fuck. I realized I was having the same problem for several years. I just couldn’t live in the here an know because I just didn’t know how.
The only way I knew how to cope was with alcohol an dope, but there I found no hope. One day I woke an realized this madness had to be stopped or soon I would be the one who would be mentally chopped.
The weight on my shoulders weighed a ton, but I was not one to be one an done. Then got on my knees an prayed to God an it was Hip Hip Hooray!
I thought living in the here an now was impossible, but with God all things are possible. All I had to do was turn over my self-will an allow my mind to be still an listen to the answer from God because Į knew I find the answer I was looking for thru the “One Divine Source ”
You find the answer your looking for thru God an won’t be living in yesterday an tommorow forever an you be so much better. Yesterday is gone an tommorow is not promised. Today is a gift. If we live in the here an now each day it be another little that will be won somehow if we make the choice today to live in the here an now!
For years I cared about many people’s opinions of me. I would take everything people said to me personally. They say when we take things personally we have an EGO problem. I did have that problem. We all want to be accepted an loved. It’s Human Nature. If we live for people’s approval always we die from their rejection.
Some of this need for approval an validation can come from our childhood! We may grew up in dysfunctional families an we didn’t get much approval or validation growing up or we have dealt with alot of rejection an dissapointment in our life.
Usually there is a cause to the way we are. We all can change. As adults we have to let go of that need from some people such as family an other people in our life for approval an acceptance. If we haven’t got it there well into adulthood we probably not going to get approval there.
After trying so hard to fit in, be liked or get people’s approval for many years I ask myself do I need approval that bad. If I am basing my self-image an self-worth on what people think of me an their opinions there’s a problem with me. I am the problem here then. Why is it so important to get approval from others an be liked? Usually it’s because we have low self-esteem an we don’t love ourselves. We feel something such as being liked by others, fitting in an other people giving us approval an validation will make us fill better about ourselves an love ourselves actually.
The truth is that stuff above comes from outside an not from within is. We could probably be liked an approved by lots of people. People can compliment us an tell us nice things. It will never be enough until we love an approve of ourselves from within. Self-Love comes from within us an not outside of us. Does it really matter everybody’s opinions of us? Is it really that important to be liked?
I have come to the conclusions that it doesn’t matter what people’s opinions are of me. I am not that super important or special now. Are other people really concerned that much about my life an are thinking about me all day? That answer would be no. We are all special an important to a point, but not that special or important now. Most people are thinking about their lives, jobs an families. If you have a family an kids I feel that should be your #1 priority period!
First things First! Our opinion of ourselves is what matters most. If we love ourselves an approve of ourselves other people will like us more. If we don’t love ourselves then people aren’t going to find that likeable. Low Self-Esteem an Insecurity turns most people off. This is an inside-out job. If we love ourselves, accept ourselves an approve of ourselves all that other stuff will fall in place. People’s opinions of us are just that opinions. The question is “Who are You?”
We know ourselves better then everybody else does. Be yourself an don’t change yourself for other people so they like you. Do it for you! Please stop worrying about what people think of you because it really is none of our business. Some people will like us an some won’t. That’s ok. That’s life! It’s not the end of the World. Rejection is apart of life. Rejection hasn’t killed anybody yet. I am still here alive at age 40 despite lots of rejection. Whatever answer your looking for you find within. Look within yourself! Let Your Soul be your guide! It will never steer you wrong.
We all are all born into the World as Social Beings who have thoughts, feelings an emotions. All 3 of those things are the makeup of a Human Being. Without thoughts, feelings an emotions you wouldn’t be human. Feelings are neither good or bad either. They just are an theirs usually a cause or reason we feel a certain way about someone or something.
Please never let anybody tell you what to feel or what you should feel! Please don’t let nobody tell you what your feeling. There is no such thing as a wrong feeling. The only thing that is wrong about a feeling is any negative acting out behaviors or other inappropriate behaviors in response a feeling. We can get a feeling or thought, but we don’t have to act or react too. A thought or feeling unless has no power to hurt you unless you give it power. The only way we can give it power is thru people, places an things. When we react on impulse to any person, place or thing in a negative way we give people, places an things power to control how we feel. The more we do that the more we give away our personal power an lose our self-respect in the process. We create some unnecessary feelings of pain an suffering when we do that. Those feelings get created by our behaviors.
Your feelings are your feelings an they are valid. They may not be based on facts, but their valid still. Feelings aren’t always facts. That’s why sometimes good to check the facts. Is what your feeling based on something today or is it some fear of something because something happened to you many times in the past. Sometimes we catastrophize in our mind. We think because something bad has happened to us before we think it’s always going to happens. That’s why feelings aren’t facts.
It does no good to judge your feelings because that just intensifys a feeling an it makes it worse. Feelings come an go. Their not permanent! We think at the time when we’re feeling sad or depressed it’s going to last forever. Feelings are temporary an are replaced by other feelings an those feelings are replaced by other feelings. That’s why it’s best not to make a permanent decision on a temporary feeling. These feelings to shall pass!
Feelings do serve important survival functions. We can not shut “The flight or fight system” down with alcohol or any drug. It needed natural system of our nervous system that prepares us for any real danger in our surroundings. A little fear is need to protect us from real danger or harm. I hope everybody feels some fear or you be doing all kinds of reckless behaviors an crimes because your not afraid of it. That is apathy. Your not caring about anything you do because your not feeling fear. That is not normal or healthy. That’s how people get hurt real bad.
If there was a fire an you could normally make it out alive, but because your “flight or fight system” is shutdown too much because of some drug you wouldn’t be able to think or react fast enough because that system is shutdown an your ability to think or react is too slowed down. Then people die because their under the influence of some drug that has impaired their ability to think or react fast enough in an actual emergency. I pray your “Fight or Flight System” is working properly an isn’t shutdown too much or God help you an God be with you! I hope the firefighter can make it in time to get you out of there in time an save your life or you burn to death an then life is over. The main reason the person died is because of a drug or drugs. That’s a real tragedy. There was a TV Show called House an the guy died at the end of the 12th season in a fire because he was numbed an anethesized out of his mind by narcotics when it happened. This is one example of why feelings serve an important survival function.
There is no real way of getting rid of our feelings completely. Anger serves a purpose. Behind anger there is alot of pain. Pain is the catalyst an the fuel for Change. If you didn’t feel any pain what reason would there be to change. Anger often leads to frustration. If you get upset an angry that means you care about someone or something alot. When you get frustrated enough an get sick an tired of suffering you change sooner or later. Frustration leads to feelings of motivation an then the feeling of determination. It’s the frustration of failure that helps us get thru the struggle. Life is very hard an the struggle is real. It’s not supposed to be easy. That’s why it’s called life for a reason. Once we get thru the struggle an rise above it there is no better feeling on earth then that. All of this took many feelings to help us get thru the struggle. Then that builds character an then resilience. No feeling an there will be no healing and emotional an spiritual growth there. Feeling is the way to healing! I really hope your feeling all your feelings because you need all of them to survive an thrive in life or people would just suffer their whole life.